the Queen's kingdom

Writer's Block: Phobias

2008-07-25T07:16:55Z

Do you have a remarkable phobia? Does your phobia have a large impact on your life?

Hic. Talking about phobias, in case the whole entire world does not know yet, i have a phobia for needles.
I flinch whenever i see needles going through skin,
and whenever i have to take injections myself,
a big fuss generally occurs. :D
I am pretty proud of my phobia!
---------------------------------------------------

Anyway, yoodee yozzah!
The group and i have submitted the Marketing Plan. Yes. Finally.
Thanks to Nuraini for dumping it in, you suck ahahaha! :)
But oh well, suddenly it's so carefree now.
Li Fang wants me to say that the mascot she designed, endearingly named PokkaTy, is incredibly cute.
Yes. I know it is cute. That girl is graphic designer material i tell you! :P

10 years later when she's a famed graphic designer, someone will call me a prophet. HAHA!

Okay, back to listening to *ahem's* boring lecture. *Sigh.
At least i have work today! Yay! :D
And work tomorrow and work the day after tomorrow too.
Good distractions from heartbreaking issues. Hmmm.

missjolintan holding up the baby, the completed assignment! Oh, how precious! :)

but behind the smile is something you will never know or see...

Because I'm Numbed to It, Already?

2008-07-25T04:44:43Z

This morning, woke up to Eug's (not the Eugene in my class, it's another Eugene) message of,
"So, how does it feel after a night of sleep?"

And the first thought that zoomed past my mind was,
I don't feel anything different from yesterday morning.

I'm just so numbed out of this entire thing, my lovely little heart that keeps blood from coursing through my entire body has been scarred, it seems like i'm immuned to bad news.

Totally. Yesterday i woke up not having what i want to have badly, today i woke up, and i still didn't have it either.
Only a few words exchanged, it barely makes any difference, does it?

I finally know the reasons why people can wall up their entire heart. I finally know.
You just don't feel like letting it break again.
But why does it still hurt so much?

Gawd. This is so hard.

Help.

Sweetheart;

2008-07-24T16:40:54Z

I would always be still and wait in the silence, thinking that you'll come and sit awhile with me.
But you never do.
You know i would wait even if you never asked, but you always choose to let me go.
Perhaps i'm just not worth it.
It's okay, tonight after i sleep, tomorrow goes on.
Even when you know i'm going through an emotional wreck,
you'll still be so far away.

Goodnight, dearest.

Back In Your Arms Again;

2008-07-24T10:58:24Z

I'm still lurking at one of the table-benches outside of the lecture halls in school. :)
I know it's a bit late, but the group and I just finished Marketing Plan Group Assignment!
Oh my god, can you believe? I thought i would never live to see this, hahahaha!

Yes, we have come such a long way and it's finally the end! *prances around!

Thanks to all of you for the effort, yeah? :D

Anyway, the flu is still around to stay, gah. I am very germ-y. :(

Life has been okay, whatever doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. <3

That's all for today! I'm sorry it's such a short and uninformative update, but marketing just killed all my brain cells, y'see! LOL.

And i'll be making my way home soon, just waiting a while more for Decker to be fully charged!

-Back In Your Arms Again, Finally!-

No One Wants Me. :(

2008-07-23T16:03:02Z

all of a sudden, no one seems to want me anymore. :(
i hate this, friends who come and go oh so fast.
you people break my heart oh so so much.
:(

Media and Society - A.
I thank the high heavens and my tutor. <3
It was awesome.
:)

That's the only good thing of today.

Sometimes, It's Just a Gut Feeling That Courses Through Your Veins;

2008-07-23T03:22:12Z

Goodmorning! :D

I'm in Marketing lecture now and nope, don't get me wrong, I AM paying attention! :) I just can multi-task super well, please believe it. But seriously, I can. Hahaha!

Anyway, have you guys ever got gut feelings?
Like you know how things are going to work out so good eventually, even when they have just began.

To you, my new friend, you are just simply amazing.
I don't know how to put it, but just know you are.
You amuse me, you make me laugh,
and we have the best conversations ever.

It's been a long time since i felt this way,
a twinkle in the heart, a sparkle in the eye... ...

Getting back Media & Society Individual Assignment grades later. Goodness. I know it won't be anywhere near good, *sigh.

But maybe, with you around, i can survive this afterall.

When Dawn Comes, Your Memory's So Clear;

2008-07-22T04:59:31Z

Oh let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)

This morning was horrible, thanks to Singapore Bus Service (SBS), again!
Seriously! I know they are a monopoly (like what i've learnt in marketing),
i don't have a choice but to take their buses, but they have no need to torture me to this extent.

Oh why, do I have to wait so long for the bus?
And when the bus comes, it's a single deck which I have no choice but to share with more people who are rushing to work and school.
School. Most of the people who take the same service as I do have the same destination as me!
That means for the entire journey, barely anyone gets down.
And if you don't get a seat, you have to stand the entire journey.
Which is what happened to me today. :(

Look, i seriously don't mind standing, but i had my hands full of things today!
I had my phone, which i was plugging into music.
I had Decker, which is a pampered ass that demands to be carried all the time.
I had my Marketing textbook which weighs a ton with all its concepts and theories.
I had my water bottle which is very fond of leaking.

SBS, to put it simply, you totally suck.
You're one of the reasons why i am so desperate to get a driver's license. Really.

Anyway, i studied Marketing yesterday,
from an insane time of 3 am to 5 am!
Don't get me wrong, i'm not utterly hardworking,
i just felt like doing so.
Furthermore, i have a new friend to talk to online!
He stays up till very late! :P
(Yes you, bunny-pig hybrid, don't deny it! :D)

Plus, examinations are coming. The timetable is already out! :o
Look! :(

Examination Time Table for TAN LI FANG JOLIN
Student : 0805450D TAN LI FANG JOLIN
Academic Year : 2008/2009
Course : DIPLOMA IN COMMUNICATIONS & MEDIA MANAGEMENT

Subject Date Start End Seat No

Media & Society 25 Aug 08 (Mon) 09:30 11:30 5
Communications & Media Marketing 26 Aug 08 (Tue) 09:30 11:30 611
Essential Graphic Software 27 Aug 08 (Wed) 09:30 11:30 49

Right. You get my point.

Time to hit the books too, and no, the flu is still here to stay.

As a bit of more random stuff, yesterday someone mentioned Bedok Reservoir to me (it's incredibly near my school), and i was like, hahaha! If i had a boyfriend we'd go there everyday, lay on the grass and watch the clouds above us float by. Awesome?

Just spending time together, enjoy each other's presence. :)
That's how simple it could get, and how simple it should be.

Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)

Goodbye My Friend, Goodbye My Lover;

2008-07-21T18:30:31Z

My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There`s nothing left to say
But goodbye

Hello! :)

I guess many would agree with me that today has been an eventful day, thanks to Media & Society group assignment.

Seriously, the last 3 hours till submission was a horror itself.
All the odds seemed to be stacked against us.

Cannot change font, cannot change graph, cannot edit picture size ya-da ya-da ya-da! It was like a complete mess.
And to make it worse, the printers in the labs are always so bitchy! :(

But thankfully, the group managed to survive and handed it in half and hour before the deadline! Yay! Hahaha! It was so insane. :D But awesome guys, we have 18 pages of good stuff!

Rushing to the lab to open it and edit it, rushing to the lab to print it, rushing to the library to get it bound and then remembering half-way through that we forgot to include the surveys, lol.

Thankfully we printed the surveys at the library, and got it binded there too.

And when we were running past Justin to the staff room, he was like,

"You guys have got it printed and binded already?"

I was too anxious and in a mad rush, i just waved the entire thing in his face.

His reply was classic, "Oh my god!"

But of course, his group made it on time too!
So did Jinnie's/Jaclyn's/Michelle's group!

Yay! We were like so happy outside the staff room.
That kind of jubilant and relief cannot be described, seriously!
I never knew Poly life was like that, hahaha!

Sorry to be a wet blanket here, but we still have Marketing.
Argghhh! :(

And i have the flu.
Tell me, how is it possible that i have to blow my nose twice in five minutes?
Clearly, phelgm produces at an astonishing rate that amazes me.

It's time to hit the tissues, again. Gah. :(

And One Week Has Passed;

2008-07-20T17:17:46Z

Okay, cranky, cranky, cranky. :(
Flu leh, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, more yucky phelgm, more yucky phelgm... ... you get the picture. *sigh.

Anyway work has been good today, not much crowd though. :(
Morning was cashier! Yay! I like to be cashier!

Halfway through, Samuel monkey-face took 20 dollars from my register, came back from Popular and the DIY store and got a lot of stuff. Haha, today he creativity overflow lah!

He started to design memo board and delivery order board for kitchen. Damn amusing, then he kept asking me to help him write labels. :) But hey, i must say, his ideas are good! :D

And to show that i have no lack of creativity, this is the board that my "boss", Samuel monkey-face, has proudly asked me to decorate.

See, so plenty creativity flowing! (Pardon my bad English for now). But this is my piece of work, just for your info! Everything there is by me. And seriously, the only thing that i'm proud of is the frog! :D

I guess the insane amount of frogs that i've been drawing in lectures to show off how much of a Sakae Girl i am has helped! :D

But nonetheless, see, Sakae Tiong Bahru so nice to work in, right?! :) And then, after that, Samuel still asked me to chop date for Tori Karaage voucher. o_0

That's all for work! Today, it just occured to me that one week has passed since that fateful incident.

In one week, you can learn so many things. In one week, you can churn out your assignments. In one week, you can pretend that nothing has happened, that nothing is wrong, but deep inside, who can you lie to? No one, seriously.

That every breathe you take, every moment you spend, thoughts of him flood your head.

Now I Know Why;

2008-07-20T01:22:00Z

To begin with, i shouldn't have been so happy when the sore throat i had a few days back disappeared after 2 days. Because, i should have known, and now i know why. It was slowly evolving into a flu. Now, the flu bug has hit me too. :(

OMGWTFBBQ SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!!! o_0

Right, you get the point.
Anyway, it's 9.09 AM now, i start work at 10 AM (with a flu), and when i'm sick, i'm a cranky idiot. Aughhh.

And in case you were wondering why i wasn't online yesterday, i conked out. I swear, when i reached home, had dinner, i was like, "okay, i shall do Medsoc later, but now i need to close my eyes a little."

The next thing i knew, it was morning, rise and shine! :D

Hahaha. Yesterday was fun anyway! Who doesn't have fun when they are around with new friends, who at their best, are at most a little bit sane? LOL, so thank you very much, in no order of preference that is, Yanxi (Kangaroo feet), Jian Hong (Puppy), Desmond (Bunny feet) and Jian Xiong (Monkey) and the many many others and of course, the residents too. :)

Okay yes, i know, i tend to give people weird nicknames. :P

Although, at some of point, my head was wondering around work, thinking of Sakae and how busy it would have been for the others while i was looking at things, like Polar Bear feeding time.

OMG. It was so cute!!! :D Have you ever seen Polar Bear's feet before! They are just so adorable lah!!! I was gushing over their feet, LOL. And as if that was not enough, halfway through the commentary, the zookeeper was like,

"Do you know how small Inuka (the polar bear) was, when he was just a day old?"

"Only approximately 450 grammes!"

"Something like ... ..."

*whips out POLAR BEAR STUFFED TOY from her pocket*

"THIS!"

When i saw the Polar Bear stuffed toy i was like whoa hahahahaha. It was cute beyond belief, okays. And i want it. :(
Hahahahahaha, when will misstan get enough of stuffed animals?

Never, i think. :D

PS: And tonight i shall churn out MedSoc so that the group and i can edit it tomorrow and submit it on time. Yay, people!
We. Can. Do. This.

I have confidence in the Mad Socks! :D

Have a happy happy Sunday, everyone! :)

Music and the Letter B;

2008-07-17T15:48:50Z

I was tagged with the letter B by crimsonetoile!
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.
3. Post to your journal with these instructions.

1. Boyfriend by Ashlee Simpson.
Because, yes, i didn't steal your boyfriend. Simple.
And PS: Well, I'm sorry that he called me, and that i answered the telephone. :D

2. Because Of You by Kelly Clarkson.
I cannot cry,
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes,
I'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh,
Every day of my life,
My heart can't possibly break,
When it wasn't even whole to start with... ...

3. Because You Live by Jesse Mccartney.
Staring out at the rain with a heavy heart
It's the end of the world in my mind
Then your voice pulls me back like a wake up call

4. Barbie Girl by Aqua.
Ooh! I used to really really like this song when i was much younger, and it still makes me go ga-ga at times. *shys.
Hi Ken! :D

5. Baby I'm-A Want You by David Gates.
David Gates has been my all time favourite, his songs always strike a chord with me! <3

Used to be my life was just emotions passing by,
Feeling all the while and never really knowing why.

Then you came along and made me laugh,
And made me cry...
You taught me why...

Baby, I'm-a want you,
Baby, I'm-a need you... ...

And Without You, My World Comes Crashing Down;

2008-07-17T09:42:36Z

Plebeians. As of now, i have a brain that is dead. I never knew doing Media and Society could be this bad, but oh well, at least the group and i have one-sixth of the entire thing done. Good stuff. It was -gah- mind boggling with so many pie charts and bar charts to do! :( Let's just hope i can survive this, yeah?

And it doesn't help that i've got a sore throat. It is no good a sign. :(
I cannot function properly with a sore throat. It hurts.
How, how, how?

'Cause baby goodbye,
Doesn't mean forever,
Let me tell you goodbye,
Doesn't mean... ...
We'll never be together again,
If you wake up and i'm not there,
I won't be long away.
'Cause the things you do,
My goodbye boy
Will bring me back to you... ...

And oh yes, Happy Birthday Andrew/Andy/Karai A.K.A Naked Cheerleader! ^_^
Thanks for all those conversations late and night and deep into the mornings,
you have been great, so stay that way! :'D
And yay! to the number smiley game, *winks!*
:1 :2 :3 :4 :5 :6 :7 :8 :9 :0

Come On, It's Time to Go Back to His Arms.

2008-07-16T17:38:55Z

I think sometimes i think too highly of myself.
Or maybe, most of the time i do.
Now, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Some people find me irkful with my super big ego,
with my shameless self praises, ahahaha.
i swear, i do it just for fun.
but i view myself as an over-achiever? Do I ?

Seriously, i want to manage everything well.
I know life is not a bunch of roses,
but studies, work, play, relationships (friends/family), community service.
These 5 pillars are like, my entire life.

I don't want anything to go wrong with them.
And i believe i can cope.

you can do this, girl!

Where Are You?

2008-07-16T16:13:47Z

Put stress, put worry, put disappointment and sadness together, it's emotionally and physically tiring.
Add in a lot of fried rice, you get a Jolin who's on the brink of crashing.

Please, let me at least complete all my group projects before i crumble.
I can do this.

Hello, world.
And goodbye.

and i tried to look behind, hoping that you'd catch up, but you weren't there anymore.

Hi! My Name is Snuffles!

2008-07-15T16:54:04Z

Hi! My name is Snuffles! I'm an incredibly cute Polar Bear, and i'm misstan's! :D

Right, so yes, miss tan has a new stuffed animal.
It's not everyday you GET a NEW STUFFED ANIMAL, especially IN SCHOOL, so reactions are a plenty. :)

Let's see....

(Snuffles and his rightful owner, with Pearlynn and her ~~monkey~~ squid face,
we say, Pearlynn's just jealous that she doesn't have Snuffles!)

(Jasmine loves Snuffles too!! But Pearlynn is still unhappy
cos' she doesn't have Snuffles.)

(Jasmine and Jolin love Snuffles, absolutely! xD)

(With Pearlynn out of the picture, Snuffle lovers can now pose happily!
Joel, A.K.A Thong really wants to kiss Snuffle,
Jolin is shy of all the attention her polar bear is getting,
and well, Snuffle just loves how well-loved he is!)

(Snuffles! In his full glory!)

(Snuffles, yet again, but close up!)

Okay, enough eye candy for you people!

(Yes, Snuffles is rightfully Jolin's! :D
You are not going to snatch him away from me!)

All hail the Queen and her Snuffles! :D

Wait, Hold On!

2008-07-14T15:59:06Z

Eh, as bit of clarification, much as i am hurt and upset by the incident as a whole, please don't start posting bad things about P. Goodness gracious me, whoever you are annoymous commenter, i am very certain he is a man. He doesn't look female to me. Absolutely.

Comments about the whole incident are welcomed, i've been receiving plenty to be exact,
but don't direct all your arrows to P.

I will just redirect them back to you. Try me if you dare.

Till I See You Again;

2008-07-14T01:41:01Z

If you get there before i do,
Don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through,
I don't know how long i'll be,
But i'm not gonna let you down,
Darling wait and see.
And between now and then,
Till i see you again,
I'll be loving you,
Love, me.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Am in the lecture hall right now, trying very hard to survive me and my emotions.
I am still at a loss for words actually,
and i think i'll be off my livejournal for sometime while i try to survive.
Plus, project deadlines are soon arriving,
i think it'll be good for me to just die in them.

For now, take it that i cease to exist.
Actually, i already don't exist in his world.
Claw into it? Now i don't even know whether i want to ever be in it again.

How can it actually be about someone that both of us have never seen/contacted for 3 years?
It still makes no sense to me at all, absolutely.
Boy, you just ruined this whole very beautiful thing with your own bare hands.
I wish you joy, and happiness, but above all that, i wish you love... ...

Yours Truly,
misstan/the Queen/ elephant!

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQR SCREWED TUVWXYZ.

2008-07-13T16:24:34Z

and here i am, back from my weekend job. hahaha, lovely. anyway, yozzah!

Unfortunately, today, despite it being a Sunday, hasn't been very busy. :( Where have all the customers gone to? But i reached outlet at 8.30 AM, partially because earlier equals to distraction from troubled thoughts, and secondly, there was outlet meeting at 9 AM.

Outler meeting was pretty strict and formal, yet coolio at the same time, i must say! It's like, we went through operating procedures (you'd be surprised at how much you still do NOT know despite having worked for about a year), and credit card promotions yada yada! I must say though, i'm proud that i know all the credit card promotions wahaha! :D Kitchen people also voiced out feedback about delivery stuff- although hahaha in the end they still said they want to do delivery orders. Not like they do have a choice, actually. But i must agree, sometimes call centre also quite screwed lah. :/

Other than that, being the afternoon cashier was quite fun and yay! i actually managed one Sakae card transaction on my own! It is such a stupid system but now at least i have a good understanding of how to use it, thanks to the best monkey face ever, Samuel! Oh wait. There is only one monkey face... hmmm... ...

And as a random thing, Marcus went to buy food for us yesterday for lunch at Rochor Road and the braised pig trotter was absolutely amazing! Thanks! :D It was like, omg so shiok lah. Yes, i'm turning fat, i know. Shut. Up.

Back to the depressing stuff! I don't even know where to begin, seriously. It's like, thoughts about it keep revolving around my head like an endless circle, but when i'm trying to put it down to words it's so hard. :(

Let's see... ... it's so ironic how one of the person i love most in life and one of the fundamentals of my beliefs are literally, clashing.

It sucks so bad to know that someone doesn't trust you. Yay. I thought in a relationship, no matter what kind of relationship, you need trust for it to work out well? THEN HOW ON EARTH DID WE MANAGE TO SUSTAIN FOR 3 YEARS WHEN YOU NEVER REALLY TRUSTED ME ENTIRELY? It makes no sense to me, and it's because of something of a past, over a stupid person. Right. It's not even over another girl or my personality or whatever. That's the only silver lining that i can see out of this. HAHAHA, how i wish it was about another girl right now, at least it's better. I take those words back - he's mine.

I'm hurt. mad. upset. disappointed. and at a loss of words. Throw in more adjectives, please.

You know, i feel like burying myself in a deep hole, because i can literally feel the whole world jeering at me. They're pointing fingers, and going "hahaha, jolin, you're such a twit!".

Now it's not that i don't want to face him, he's still the him that he used to be, i guess. I want to face him, i want to tell myself it's okay, but i just can't. I am so sorry, that i wanted to know the whole truth, i promised that nothing would change, that we would survive, but in the end i reacted so differently. I'm sorry for being such a shameless disappointment and embarrassment, i'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry and a gazillion more times sorry.

But this hurt goes deep inside, i don't know how i can face you anymore. I cannot bring myself to acknowledge the fact that you are skeptical about me when you meant almost the whole world to me. Seriously, boy, how could you? A part of me is like, dead.

Like i've told Harune, the last time i actually felt like this was when Neville screwed everything up with a lack of trust. Remember the incident of me tearing quietly in the library, at a total loss for words? It's a repeat of that again.

Boy, seriously, i wish you know how bad this is for me.
That if there was something that could kill my heart, then it would have been those words that came out of your mouth. A bulls eye.

And i don't know how i'm going to survive school tomorrow.
My thoughts are just going to run wild, wild, wild. At this rate i'm going, i'm turning mad soon.

Not helping that msn is screwing up on me because it gets cranky whenever i am upset too.

SOMEONE PLEASE KILL ME. OR FIND ME A HOLE TO BURY ME DEEP UNDER.

And boy, i'm really sorry for being the idiot i'm being right now.

Rise and Shine.

2008-07-12T02:21:45Z

Yup Jolin, rise and shine! Work's starting and with the busy busy day in front, it makes a good distraction from all those unhappy thoughts.
Misstan go go go! :)

I'm Bothered By What You Said.

2008-07-11T15:15:49Z

Watched Yan's performance today, was very amusing and yes Oneisan, you did well, i'm very proud of you! :D Unfortunately, i'm not in the mood to mention that, so later perhaps?

For now, thoughts are running in my head because he said some things. I thank him for coming clean with me, but i never knew the truth could hurt me like this.

He told me he was skeptical. About whether i was truly involved with the previous guys before. When he told me that, it kinda threw me off my feet, because i thought it had been long over. And because i thought he believed me. But haha, he has that little mistrust in me, right. I can't exactly blame him, what happens when you are given both sides of the story? But i just wished he believed my side of the story. I can't stand the thought of me trusting him so much and yet it's like, he's skeptical? :(

I talked a bit to Xun Wei Daddy (omg long time no see!) and he mentioned the boyfriend. He was right, much as i wished my "boyfriend" existed and that i really dated before, and much as he wished he had started a relationship with Liang Hwei before, we were living so much in our own worlds at that time. Reality and our imagination, what really happened, what was right, what was wrong, the lines have been blurred. Xun Wei's change in physical appearance has just shown how much we have grown. But have we grown for better or for worse?

Sometimes i don't know what to do. He tells me i don't take enough initiative, have i really not? How hard have i tried to pry into that locked heart of his, only to get back the kind of silence? How many times do i have to try not to talk to him, only to start talking to him again? He asks me to ask other people, but i really want to hear it from him himself.

On whether i've loved him or no, this i'm certain. I have loved him before, now, and i'll love him forever. Like Harune oneisan, "the mother, father and sister". I cannot really do without the oneisan, yup. (:
On whether it's just a crush or no, i am certain crushes don't take me this far. Time can tell, but can i wait? Or will the truth just hit me in the face so hard again?

Maybe he should just tell me the truth. C'mon, just smack me into the face of whether you have feelings for me or no. I'm sure we can survive this together even after the truth.

But boy, i really love you, and perhaps that is all you really need to know too. You know, sometimes when i look straight into your face, right into your eyes, they seem to sparkle though my heart, then it's all worth it once again. And when i'm with you, i can literally smell you and i secretly grin at your funny antics. :P

And once again, my heart, my words, are here for you and all to see.

You've ripped me open, you've seen my true blue emotions again. You heartless creature that i'm so terribly addicted to. The insensitive perfection.

I can fake a smile for anyone, but i can't fake a smile when i'm with you. Because, it just makes me happy beyond words when we're together.

But i know, when you see this, you will just keep mumb about it again, no matter how much emotions you have rushing through you. How am i going to find out, baby?

Love the One in Front of You.

2008-07-10T13:35:40Z

Today has been great, in it's own way, as usual! :)

Right now, i'm in front of Decker, feeling all happy because i just downloaded Deepest Sender to type this entry in firefox, and before that i downloaded more icons and i also have some really cool freeware! Yay! :D Clearly i am very happy, no?

Anyway, since today is Thursday, the only lesson we had was GDF (Graphic Design Fundamentals). Did more poster-ish stuff, and Miss Chee also saw the sketchbook developments for our poster assignment. Right. She didn't give any negative comments for mine, and said it was "pretty good development", so let's hope she means it and gives me at least a B for it. After all, i did put in much effort. That is, if i remember to bring the assignment out of home tomorrow. Yes. I.must.remember.to.bring.it.

Then after school, loitered around in MacLab, did my portfolio thing for Apel that is needed tomorrow and went for lunch with Jassie! :) We had lunch at Mensa1, good chicken chop rice with tom yam soup! Then we both took the same bus, hahaha.

She came to my house for a while to complete the Media and Society tutorial exercise. We feel very accomplished, i'm sure! ;)

PS: Decker is working very SLOW today, he must be exhausted. Geez. :(
-----------------------------------------------------
And LB, thanks for knowing that i was worried when i saw what happened. :) And then reassuring me later that nothing was going to happen. Sometimes you are just so wonderful.

Johnny Lingo's Eight-Cow Wife.

2008-07-09T12:59:10Z

[ I read this story recently, it kinda touched me, so thought i would share it with all of you. :) ]

Johnny Lingo's Eight-Cow Wife.
Patricia McGerr

When i sailed to Kiniwata, an island in the Pacific, i took along a notebook. After i got back it was filled with descriptions of flora and fauna, native customs and costumes. But the note that still interests me is the one that says "John Lingo gave eight cows to Sarita's father." And i don't need to have it in writing. I'm reminded of it everytime I see a woman belittling her husband or a wife withering under her husband's scorn. I want to say to them "You should know why Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for his wife."

Johnny Lingo wasn't exactly his name. But that's what Shenkin, the manager of the guest house on Kiniwata called him. Shenkin was from Chicago and had a habit of Americanizing the names of the islanders. But Johnny was mentioned by many people in many connections. If I wanted to spend a few days on the nieghbouring island of Nurabandi, Johnny Lingo could put me up. If i wanted to fish, he could show me where the biting was best. If it was pearls i sought, he would bring me the best buys. The people of Kiniwata all spoke highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet when they spoke they smiled, and the smiles were slightly mocking.

"Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want and let him do the bargaining," advised Shenkin. "Johnny knows how to make a deal."

"Johnny Lingo!" A boy seated rocked with laughter.

"What goes on?" I demanded. "Everybody tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Let me in on the joke."

"Oh the people like to laugh," Shenkin said, shrugging. "Johnny's the brightest, strongest young man in the island and for his age, the richest."

"But if he's all you say, what is there to laugh about?"

"Only one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!"

I knew enough about island customs to be impressed. Two or three cows would buy a fair-to-middling wife, four or five a highly satisfactory one.

"Good Lord!" I said. "Eight cows! She must have beauty that takes your breath away."

"She's not ugly," he conceded, and smiled a little. "But the kindest could only call Sarita plain. Sam Karoo, her father, was afraid she'd be left on his hands."

"But then he got eight cows for her? Isn't that extraordinary?"

"Never been paid before."

"Yet you call Johnny's wife plain?"

"I said it would be kindness to call her plain. She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of even her own shadow."

"Well," I said, "I guess there's just no accounting for love."

"True enough," agreed the man. "And that's why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny. They get special satisfaction from the fact that the sharpest trader in the islands was bested by dull old Sam Karoo."

"But how?"

"No one knows and everyone wonders. All the cousins were urging Sam to ask for three cows and hold out for two until he was sure Johhny'd pay only one. Then Johnny came to Sam Karoo and said, "Father of Sarita, I offer eight cows for your daughter.""

"Eight cows," I murmured. "I'd like to meet this Johnny Lingo."

I wanted fish. I wanted pearls. So the next afternoon i beached my boat at Nurabandi. And i noticed as i asked directions to Johnny's house that his name brought no sly smile to the lips of his fellow Nurabandians. And when i met the slim, serious young man, when he welcomed me with grace to his home, I was glad that from his own people he has respect unmingled with mockery. We sat in his house and talked. Then he asked "You come here from Kiniwata?"

"Yes"

"They speak of me on that island?"

"They say there's nothing I might want that you can't help me get."

He smiled gently. "My wife is from Kiniwata."

"Yes, I know."

"They speak of her?"

"A little."

"What do they say?"

"Why, just--" the question caught me off balance. "They told me you were married at festival time."

"Nothing more" The curve of his eyebrows told me he knew there had to be more.

"They also say the marriage settlement was eight cows." I paused. "They wonder why."

"They ask that?" His eyes lighted with pleasure. "Everyone in Kiniwata knows about the eight cows?"

I nodded.

"And in Nurabandi everyone knows it too." His chest expanded with satisfaction. "Always and forever, when they speak of marriage settlements, it will be remembered Johnny Lingo paid eight cows for Sarita."

So that's the answer, I thought--vanity.

And then I saw her. I watched her enter thr room to place flowers on the table. She stood still a moment to smile at the young man beside me. Then she went swiftly out again. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin. the sparkle in her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right.

I turned to Johnny Lingo and found him looking at me.

"You admire her?" he murmured.

"She...she's so glorious." I said.

"There's only one Sarita. Perhaps she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata.:

"She doesn't. I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo."

"You think eight cows were too many?" a smile slid over his lips.

"No, but how can she be so different?"

"Do you ever think," he asked, "what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought? And later, when the women talked, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows, another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two? This could not happen to my Sarita."

"Then you did this just to make your wife happy?"

"I wanted Sarita to be happy, yes. But i wanted more than that. You say she is different. This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside, things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands."

"Then you wanted --"

"I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman."

"But--" I was close to understanding.

"But," he finished softly, "I wanted an eight-cow wife."

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Every human being from cradle to coffin responds to respect, responds to people who see and draw out their hidden potential. You see it in their countenance, you hear it in ther voice. No, they may not all turn into physical beauties like Sarita, but their inner beauty will shine in ways that I believe will significantly influence their physical presence and bring new light to their eyes.

I Feel You All Around Me;

2008-07-09T12:22:31Z

oh i feel my heart keeps on yearning... ...

Today has been okay, just pardon the fact about the office attire, especially the wedges, or the heels, or whatever you call them.
They shall be mentioned as shoes from now on in this post to make things easier. Haha.
I almost died in them and thanks Jinnie Bunny for the plasters, or i would have two incredibly huge blisters right now. Geez.
Nonetheless, an achievement that i wore the blardy thing straight for 8 hours, hokays? :)
Just halfway through it was such excruciating pain that i thought i would have to amputate my toes. Seriously!

At least it's back to flip-flops tomorrow, wooohooooooooooo!

The Speaker Series was good, at least it wasn't boring.
And what's more, Mr Ramesh, my very amusing Journalism News Writing tutor was sitting right beside me. LOL.
We were there talking about random crap, like what's business shoes and what's not *winks*, and er, about kicking the person sitting right in front of us. Which was the guest speaker and the course manager, Mr Darryl David.
HAHAHA. Of course, we didn't. But at the end of the thing i was trying not to giggle out loud, lol.
To which, Mr Ramesh and Jinnie had been secretly whispering to one another that i might be really crazy after all. Right.
Do you know Mr Ramesh has plenty of candy, he has er, Mentos and Cough Suppressant.
I told him, i needed "Giggle Suppressant" instead. :D
And in the end, me, Mr Ramesh and Jinnie were passing silly notes to one another. Hahahaha, funny! :D
Now Mr Ramesh owes me and Jinnie a meal. Yay.

After that, the girls and i camwhored (yeah, seriously!) outside the auditorium, and then it was back to home sweet home in those awful shoes.
Plus, i dozed off at in the bus and missed a stop, so i had to walk a considerable distance before reaching home. In those shoes. Great.

I thank the high heavens that my toes are still safe and sound now. It is a miracle.

may the flame of our love keep on burning;

Fly Me Up to Where You Are.

2008-07-08T16:36:06Z

i wish upon tonight,

Hallloooo! =]
I'm a happy not-so-little girl right now, simply because i've finally cleared GDF (Graphic Design Fundamentals) posters assignment. Yay! It has been a mind-whirling 2 days of intense work, but at least it's over. And plus, i submitted my Marketing Journals, which are due on Friday, to Miss Winnie Tan today, so essentially right now i have nothing to do.

Right, i'm a hardcore freak.
I rush out my assignments like they're due the next day when they're actually due quite sometime away.
Right, i'm begining to not have a life.
But i'm happy the way it is now.

You know how bad i used to fail Chemistry and Physics and Maths last time? I didn't even bother studying much actually, because i just wasn't motivated. It wasn't things i like, so i had that heck care kinda attitude. But now i'm in poly! I've been wanting to do this so much, and when i have it, i'm just going to do all my best. (: My dilligence just came back because i really want to make this work and get the job i like in future. Yup. (:

Printing out the assignment was a horror itself today though. I made endless trips to the print shop can? Firstly, i had the wrong Chinese font, so it couldn't be opened with the print shop's computer. When i finally made all the changes and went back, the aunty was super cranky and complained my file size was too big and had a lot of problems ya-da ya-da. Third time, when i finally got it to print, it turned out in a horrid shade of green! I mean, my desired and actual colour is yellow!

Had to start marketing tutorial, so i had to print after school. :( Marketing tutorial was interesting though! :) We did on advertisements, and this slimming centre made our group laugh thanks to Joel Thong. But seriously, the love handles and spare tyres part was amusing, although Thong showing off his belly button is so totally not amusing. HAHAHA.

After school, went to lab again, had quite some funny moments with Eugene and Joel and Alethea. LOL.
I was telling Alethea she could pay me 1 buck for my logos (which i removed the background). HAHA.
But in the end, me and Eugene taught her, so nice right? :D
And i was being so cranky about my printed posters being an undesirable green haha! I kept asking everyone what colour it was, they told me it was yellow, and i kept insisting it was green.
In the end, like Thong says, "Ok Jolin, it is green, we are all colour blind. You are the Queen of colours. Happy?"
HAHAHA. ;)
Figured out how to make my colour settings more proper, went to print shop to print and guess what? 2 of my posters turned out yellow, while another 2 turned out green. Right. :(

Gave up, when home, then made my way to Sunshine Plaza (which has a lot of print shops) to print the assignment.
Thank god, this time, everything turned out right within the first print.
I should have known- the school vendor is not very good.
Wasted a lot of time and money there today, aughh!! :(
But at least now i know where to go next time! :)

Well that's about it all. As a sidenote, there's this Speaker Series organised by the CMM people tomorrow, and Mr D. wants us to go there in business attire so that we give the speakers a good impression. Hah. I'm trying to come to terms with it, because i look weird in a white blouse and black plants and black heels, like omg? And don't remind me that i have to wear business attire for my project presentations as well. Great.
But oh well, the makings of girl to young woman. Or something like that. : /

And thanks Eugene for the Kinder Bueno today! I only asked for one, and he just threw me the whole packet! :D
But hey, take it as a form of appreciation for me lending him my Marketing Journals, okay? :)

to see you smile... ... :)

And Your Smile Makes My Heart Dance;

2008-07-06T16:41:15Z

Let's start from yesterday! Yesterday was okay, started work at 11am, then went to Kembagan at 3pm for Community Service event. It's called "Skip for a Good Cause" whereby you skip 10 times and this company will donate 1 bowl of rice to some charity organisation. Yeah, you get the point. Anyway, i went there and returned to work at 6pm. It was quite a boring event because the whole skipping thing lasted less than 15 minutes. Seriously, it started at 4.30pm but we gathered at 3.30pm. LOL.

BUT! I found out that Joshua (omg, i can remember his name) and his friend from the same diploma as me, are in Community Service too!
My first reaction was, "You're from CMM, no?"
Joshua: "Yes, Jolin, i'm from CMM."
And i was so stunned he remembered my name and knows what class i'm from. LOL.
And now, apparently i'm not the only CMM kid in Community Service. Great. :)

Work was a bit oops, because Alex came in the morning and deliveries jammed up. Oops.
Mark, the siao boss was at the cashier so i told him, "eh, no worries, no stress, no angry okay?"
And he replied, "i'm not stressed or angry eh, i'm f-king scared!".
In the end, poor him got scolded by Alex nonetheless. It was so dramatic.
Alex: Can you learn to be more responsbile?
Mark: *silence*
Alex: And what is this doing here? Why don't you put it at the MRT station, better still?
Mark: *silence*
Alex: Get Samuel to call me.

Then Alex left. Haha. When Samuel moneky-face arrived at outlet, i was, "War over already then you come?" To which he answered, "I don't even have to be here to know you guys lost the war." Oops! :P
But nonetheless, at night Lena came so it was more stress and more stress. But i think sales yesterday was quite good. :)
And that stupid Samuel monkey-face kept asking me to upsell dessert. Walau. :(

As for work, did opening with Ellen ("the more useful one", as termed by Samuel) today! :D Not much to do, and this morning didn't even have a single delivery can? Like i was telling Mark, "if Alex came today, you wouldn't have got scolded because no deliveries at all". Ha!

Afternoon was a bit screwed, but it soon got better. :)

And i seriously say, something needs to be done about the trainee part-time, Allen.
I mean, what is wrong with her seriously?
I feel like stranggling her! :0
She has been working for at least a month and she still can't do Shoyu and Ginger properly.
She could tell Ellen that the Shoyu level must reach the line, but when she topped it up for all of us to see, she never reached the line. Siao la!
AND BEST OF ALL?
When she goes for break, she DOESN'T CLOCK OUT!
She goes to the toilet for 10 minutes first, comes back and then she clocks out.
WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?
I just showed Ellen her clockcard and Ellen was totally stunned.
I told Ellen that since she could do it, so why can't i?
And Ellen said she understood but ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.
Grr. And she never ever finishes her side duties, she just cleans her bums and leaves exactly on the dot. Grr.
Anyway, today a customer complained about her, so cheers! :)
I mean, all of us are unhappy with her, can?
She always pretends to not see tables that need to be cleared too, and she thinks KANI SUSHI IS SALMON SUSHI.
Much to the amusement of me and Elvance. HAHAHA! I mean, Salmon sushi is the easiest to recognise, what is her problem lah?
-Okay, i shall stop being bitchy. But she's the one who's bitchy first okay? :( Justice needs to be done to those of us who are slogging like mad!-

Of course, there are the funny and nice parts too!

Like Patrick, my Winnie BIG Pooh! who treated me to Frutips today =) And he also fried Kani Tempura for me and Elvance.
OH MY GOD KANI TEMPURA WITH A BIG DOLLOP OF MAYONNAISE IS GOOD STUFF! xD
And fry-fry who cooked ramen soup for me to go along with my macaroni! :D
Thanks to Desmond for the cream puffs too! :)

Mark, the siao boss's stomach, which is incredibly round, and which i like to swat a lot, is now nicknamed by me "Bobby!"
HAHAHA! :D It drives him nuts, but i have a good laugh out of it!
And just now, when we told Yishin we need Kani Chawamushi, he said he was going to steam chawamushi.
But the fact was, all the chawamushi were already not available.
So 20 minutes later, when the chawanmushi timer rings, all of us are getting ready to serve the chawanmushi that we owe customers,
and Yishin reveals his pretty CREATION.
He had only steamed 5 Kani Chawanmushi, can you believe?
Of course, all of us scolded that silly ass, hahahaha! :D

Okay i shall stop here, i never realised this post was sooooooooooooo long! omg.

anyway, boy, i really like to see you smile, that is all you need to do to make my heart dance. :)

PS: Jing An has a mary/jane/jennifer/lucy out there. And i highly suspect he engages in OS. Seriously. :0

And hello puppy! if you read this, i'm just calling you for fun :D